hello to all my non existant readers. I know you have been sitting on the edge of your chair waiting for me to pop up again with my pearls of wisdom and witty anachronisms.

Continuing the saga of "Fun with Schizophrenia" I have to say I really bit it big time a short while ago. I heard Anne talking to me and she said that God was taking pity on me and if i got a doll she would send her spirit into it and it would come alive and i would be able to hold and rock her for real! Needless to say I was overjoyed and happily emailed my rabbis and Joel and others to give the good news. Joel told me not to get a doll because it was psychotic and if i indulged the psychosis i may get worse and worse and never come out of it. my rabbis said the voice was not Anne and this was not from God. That it was a demon trying to get me to go against God's Word because He forbids us to contact the dead. They said that if i got a doll and let that spirit go into it i would just get worse and worse and would fall under demonic influence. Ken said it was a bad idea too. He didn't want to see me in the hospital again. and that's where i was headed. i trust these people so i had to finally concede and not get a doll. i still want to but part of me knows it's best not to. i was devastated though. i was so happy that Anne had spoken to me... and then to find out it wasn't Anne speaking to me. i was heartbroken and fell into deep depression. Anyway i'm ok now and still working things out. more later... remind me to tell you about Becky.