Well i've got good news and bad news. First the bad. My financial provider can't find anyone who will insure me. Schizophrenia renders me "uninsurable". Wonderful. I guess my family will have to survive on 160,000 dollars. I'll tell you this much. no fancy funeral for me. just stick me in a plain pine box. I don't even need a pillow. i don't need an expensive casket.. i don't need flowers. toss me in a ditch for all i care. just don't spend alot of money on my funeral and burial that could be going to Jake's college fund! i also can't get long term care insurance being a schizo. So i'm screwed. Social security won't be there so i'll just have to end up in a state hospital or on the streets. anyway, enough of that crap. Now the good news!...

Rabbi Loren emailed me yesterday and said that he was ready to present me to the congregation as a full official member of the synagogue! he'd read over my answers to the questions and i'd studied all the material he gave me and i am so excited!!! I'm accepted!!! I haven't had many places where I really felt like i belonged but Shema is one of the rare places where I do. I'm so happy right now. My family, my friends, my faith... all of that is what makes life good. Sure i've got problems... but in my opinion if I've got those three things, I'm doing pretty damn well.

Thank you for being my friend >:D<