I just got back from the hospital. I'm not allowed to work or drive until monday or tuesday. I spent the first 5 days in my room either sleeping, laying with the covers over my head talking to the voices, or sitting on my bed with my back against the wall listening to voices and staring at the wood grain pattern on the wardrobe at the end of my bed. They spread out my dose of geodon over the day.. 2 am, 1 lunch, 2 pm. Plus they put me on a hefty dose of the old style antipsychotic navrane or something like that. the old ones are very potent but have a high risk of side effects. after 5 days of pure psychosis, I finally started feeling a little better and took a shower. my psychiatrist said that if I go to groups they will know i'm doing better and i'll go home sooner. so i showered, got dressed (out of pajamas), and went to groups, always sitting in a corner away from the door. Well they finally let me come home. I was in a private psychiatric hospital in grand rapids (about an hour west of lansing) because st. lawrence had no room. I only met one person. my roommate. her name was kim. and she was always going to group and the craft/art room. so i had the room to myself most of the time. i'm still a little fuzzy around the edges... and feeling strung out like a bomb has gone off inside my head...