Any Colour You Like, A Landscape Painted in Words
In category This Is Where I Pretend I Can Write! on 29 Apr 2006 @ 01:06 pm
This is when my writing started to become noticeably better. This is around October 24th, MMIII. I liked the idea of writing "color" with a "u". Like I said: I was a weird kid. Also: if Maz actually allowed us to use superscript then I could use proper footnotes. (cough cough) Hinthint. Hintyhinthint. Hintyhint.
~
Beautiful. That's what it is. The way the sun falls from the sky, the stars rising to take it's place.
Scratch that.
I was planning to write about ripping out Brett's innards and twisting them into different shapes, much like a clown would to a balloon. No one emerges from my wrath unscathed. But after making Brett beg for mercy via my pinchers (all mermaids have retractable pinchers) I figured he was absolved of his sins. Besides, a gripping story about the torture of Brett would only amuse him. I will not give him that satisfaction.
Instead, I shall write a piece praising Bess. How often do we hear those? Not often enough, my friends, to save us from the platinum jaws of Death. You may be quick to kiss up to her after she (and Fiji) have taken hold of the hemispheres, but do not think she shall forget all of you who have not praised her goodness before her ascension.
She is the she-wolf!(Her Holy Hymns, The Reign of Bess, line 18) The diplomat! The Slugabeth that walketh slowly in the daylight!(leaving a trail of slime when sick) The Besket in Besketball!(1) The Nature Goddess Who Frolics And Stuff! (2) It is she who truly has The Penis. (3) My Bess. My garbage disposal.(4)
My hetero-life partner.
It was for you that I transformed a very very bad song into a hymn.(Her Holy Hymns: The Reign of Bess, page 1) (5)
So now all you writers out there have something to make your lives a little less meaningless. Make works praising Bess! Write sonnets! Skits! Let us all be humbled before her hyphenated talents.
And this was a badly written piece of writing.
1 In Bess' biology class(Freshman year, 2003) Bess related the "Besketball" activity that Duckie (Jeaninie) made up the year before in bio. Entranced by this idea Tony and Alvaro would make paper balls and attempt to throw them down her shirt. Bess liked V-necks. Tony and Alvaro liked Besketball. Before long everyone was playing Besketball. Many people used small objects though others liked to use removable penises.
2 The Nature Goddess Who Frolics and Stuff is a shortening of Bessie's Goddess title.
3 Fiji wrote the song,"Who's Got The Penis?" which is about girls who went to sleep one lunch and woke up covered and sperm and one of the girls had The Penis. Originally I had The Penis but as I said earlier, it is Bess who truly has The Penis.
4 In elementary school we all called Bess the garbage disposal because she would eat anything, anytime, anywhere. It'd be gone in a second and you'd wonder where it all went.
5 (Derived from"The Venga Bus is comin and everybody's jumpin. . .")
~
Beautiful. That's what it is. The way the sun falls from the sky, the stars rising to take it's place.
Scratch that.
I was planning to write about ripping out Brett's innards and twisting them into different shapes, much like a clown would to a balloon. No one emerges from my wrath unscathed. But after making Brett beg for mercy via my pinchers (all mermaids have retractable pinchers) I figured he was absolved of his sins. Besides, a gripping story about the torture of Brett would only amuse him. I will not give him that satisfaction.
Instead, I shall write a piece praising Bess. How often do we hear those? Not often enough, my friends, to save us from the platinum jaws of Death. You may be quick to kiss up to her after she (and Fiji) have taken hold of the hemispheres, but do not think she shall forget all of you who have not praised her goodness before her ascension.
She is the she-wolf!(Her Holy Hymns, The Reign of Bess, line 18) The diplomat! The Slugabeth that walketh slowly in the daylight!(leaving a trail of slime when sick) The Besket in Besketball!(1) The Nature Goddess Who Frolics And Stuff! (2) It is she who truly has The Penis. (3) My Bess. My garbage disposal.(4)
My hetero-life partner.
It was for you that I transformed a very very bad song into a hymn.(Her Holy Hymns: The Reign of Bess, page 1) (5)
So now all you writers out there have something to make your lives a little less meaningless. Make works praising Bess! Write sonnets! Skits! Let us all be humbled before her hyphenated talents.
And this was a badly written piece of writing.
1 In Bess' biology class(Freshman year, 2003) Bess related the "Besketball" activity that Duckie (Jeaninie) made up the year before in bio. Entranced by this idea Tony and Alvaro would make paper balls and attempt to throw them down her shirt. Bess liked V-necks. Tony and Alvaro liked Besketball. Before long everyone was playing Besketball. Many people used small objects though others liked to use removable penises.
2 The Nature Goddess Who Frolics and Stuff is a shortening of Bessie's Goddess title.
3 Fiji wrote the song,"Who's Got The Penis?" which is about girls who went to sleep one lunch and woke up covered and sperm and one of the girls had The Penis. Originally I had The Penis but as I said earlier, it is Bess who truly has The Penis.
4 In elementary school we all called Bess the garbage disposal because she would eat anything, anytime, anywhere. It'd be gone in a second and you'd wonder where it all went.
5 (Derived from"The Venga Bus is comin and everybody's jumpin. . .")
