Hmm. The tags remind me so much of the Stories.com tags. I suppose that's a good thing. Brings back fond me memories. Let's just hope Maz doesn't sell out like Stories. (grins)

Anyway, if I were to rename this it would be either called, "The Joys of Being a Writer" or "Beautiful." Also, I think I'll leave things in their unedited forms for now. At least the really old things. This is from August 28th, MMII.


I wanted to be beautiful. . .I wanted my hair to glisten and my eyes to shine. . .I wanted my lips to have a pink flush. Why? Because that showed inner beauty. . .no matter how hidden. And looking in the mirror, at this very moment, seeing how undesirable I was, I knew inside I was truly ugly.

They were wrong. They said I was a wonderful person. . .special. But really, how many special people did you meet? The key word there was "people"

Human. I was human. No matter what I did, that in in itself was a sin. There was no way around it. Even if I wasn't. Even if I were a dragonfly or a tree or a lioness--a phoenix. . .I would still be ugly.

Maybe that's why I was human. Maybe it was because I wasn't beautiful enough. The dragonflies that I saw flitting about were the souls of the truly beloved.

They were wrong.

And so I wanted to create. To make something beautiful. . .write something wonderful. And so I tried. I tried hard with all my might. . . and sometimes I didn't, I just let myself flow. . .and yet--

Another piece of crap.

No, I was being irrational. It was nice, good, well done and yet. . .it was ugly. Like me. Not good enough. Never would. So why was I even trying?